Summa Pains

Teh summa haz ben mixd up fur me. Teh start had me frowing up moar. Ai haz sum speshul food whut Ai duz not liek. Mom got teh nuggets kine but Ai duznt liek taht so much needer. So Ai tries 2 sneek Wimphead's fude. Ai kin jis glare at him & he will moov, cuz Ai am FURS CAT!!!

 Mom & Poppa cot on 2 taht trik & started feeding him at a diffurnt tiem Or, in teh case of Mom, who haz moar payshins, stand rite tehre & wach me eat mai noms.But when Wimphead moovs Ai eat his fude enyways. Mom haz started mixing medicine fude wiht teh reglar stuff so Ai will eet moor ov it.

Ai also has mai arfritis aking up moar so Ai haz to keep mai bones warm on Poppa or on teh catio cement. Sumtiems in mai favrit lawn cher next 2 Poppa's. Poppa iz teh only wun in teh hows who lieks a cold, cold hows.

Well, Ai haz 2 go nak owtsides now fur warming mai bones. Ow! Mai lef shoulder hurts!

~Emperor Bob

The Truth About Cat People and Dog People

Mom sez iz moar mportunt 2 b a aminal purrson tahn wun who iznt. See if u see urself in tihs arkittle:

http://www.mnn.com/family/pets/stories/the-truth-about-cat-people-and-dog-people

The Joys of Adopting Older Pets

Good morning! I'm Bob and Winston's mom and I just wanted to stop in to post a serious essay on the joys of adopting older pets. Serious. I'm wearing my serious face as I type this. Believe me, it is a really serious face.

First, I like to take pictures of the adventures of the boys. Bob doesn't like to have his picture taken so he usually stops doing the cute humorous things once I take out my camera. Then he glares at me and says, "OK, enuff wiht teh pikchurs." This attitude he has learned from his Poppa. Seriously. Winston doesn't care as long as he has food and gets an hour's worth of chin rubs each day. That is all he wants. Ever. Except maybe a squirrel which he cannot catch because his previous family had him declawed.

He was able to bring me a lovely black and white moth from the back yard and a palmetto bug which had crawled under the patio door after a rain. No. I take that back. he doesn't share his palmetto bugs. Instead he used to play with them in the hall until the legs fell off. That's when I would find a legless and often headless bug in the hallway and Winston would give me a look that says: "Oh. Furgot about that. Since he ain't movin' no more, you kin hav him." I have since installed a weather strip under that door to save the limbs and lives of hapless palmetto bugs. Yeah, that's the ticket--I'm saving palmetto bug lives.

The  adventures of Mr. Bob Buttons and Winston Henry---the ones I can and cannot photograph---are such fun. Hopefully some of their antics will encourage Bob's readers to adopt an older pet from a shelter so that they, too can have fond older pet adventures. I have to share today's with you.

Actually, Mr. Bob Buttons has been very busy hanging with his Poppa and watching the Burn Notice marathon. Meanwhile, Win has had to go to the vet today to have his teeth cleaned. This involved
him being squeezed into the soft pet carrier (while I thought I could hear Bob chuckling) and having to stay there all day until the anthes--anesth--- until the "knock out" meds wore off. There is a residual effect for the rest of the evening--meaning, Winston is still a bit loopy from his procedure.

After I dropped Win at the vet, Poppa told me that he and Bob had such fun. First there was the morning nap. Then, Poppa said Bob suggested they go to Burger King at about 11:30. He said Bob thought it would be a good joke if he drove through the drive through. "Immajum teh look on teh cashiers' face!" Poppa told Bob that that was not a good idea because Bob is not on our insurance as an approved driver. Perhaps this summer after he's had a driver's ed class and earned a  permit.

We live not far from the zoo so they went there after their after lunch nap. Bob wanted  a snow cone at the zoo but Poppa knows he never finishes them. So he got a bag of popcorn instead--which Bob shared with the elephants and the lions. Sometimes we can hear the lions' roars from our front yard. Bob was so glad to meet them in person. He introduced himself and told them he was a big fan of their broadcasts. Poppa said when he turned away for a bit, he could have sworn that he saw the lion and Bob exchange raised paw salutes and he thought he heard Bob say, "Solidarity! Free Timba!"

On the way home, Poppa needed a few things from the grocery. Bob stayed in the car. When Poppa came out of the store he heard all kinds of racket. Bob was making faces at two weimaraner  dogs in the neighboring parked car and the dogs were going nuts! Bob was laughing his head off at them and they were barking their heads off with dogfanities.

"Come on, Bob. Let me get you home!" Poppa said. Then they both ate something fried because I wasn't home to stop them and they took an afternoon nap. About that time I came home with drugged out Winston in the pet carrier. I poured Win out of the carrier and he slid under the kitchen table. I was sure Bob was snickering behind his paw.

I asked Poppa not to forget to feed them while I ran to a meeting and that they should watch Win who was still woozy from the sedation at the vet's.  During a commercial break, Poppa went out to smoke and Bob followed as usual. They left the patio door slightly open behind them.  A few seconds later, an orange streak ran out  between them and across the yard squealing, "Squiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeeeelllll!"It was Win. He tripped over a branch and rolled over on his back and just lay there under the oak tree. "Ooooooo. Ah see skwurls up der!"

Bob looked at Win, then up at Poppa. "Wat a ijjit!"

When I got home from my meeting, Poppa and Bob were finishing up the Burn Notice marathon and preparing for dinner. Winston was on the patio staring at a potted plant.

There are many adventures to be had from adopting an older pet. There are eight million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them.

Nudder Cat Law

Dont be mad. Jus' be perpared: Stummick clock also wurks on paybak sistum: W'en Mom gits me upset bai
1) being sneeky & snatchin' me up fur taking 2 vet
2) changing catfood too fass
3) not coming home on time
4) not lettin' me go owtsides w'en Ai reddy rite away

Stummik clok has 2 let go. Ai frows up--mekking sure is eder on floor wher she goes or on bed on her side wher he feet go. Iz Cat Law. Dont blame me.

Mai Facebook Wall: https://www.facebook.com/bobbuttons.michael
Mai Mr. Bob Buttons Fan Club on Facebook

PayBack

Ai has decided 2 pay back Winston bai sneeking a bite owt of his bowl. Mom catched me tihs moarning & put me bak infron ov mai own bowl . Ai jus' akted liek, "Oh, tihs no mai bowl? Mai bad."

Been Finking

Ai hav bee finking lately: Ai been finking abot how Ceiling Cat haz ben looking owt fur me. W'en mai urs fambly lefted me N teh hows & Aunt Carol camed 2 feed me, she cudda lefted me, too. W'en Ai got frone owt teh hows wiht teh furrrnitchur, Aunt Carol cudda callded aminul contro fur me, butshe took me 2 hr hows & Ai meeted mai PetGurl. Who knowd Aunt Carol wud tek me 2 Mom, Poppa & PetGurl's hows? Yep, Ceiling Cat wuz looking owt fur me!

So Ai'm finking, Ceiling Ca iz looking owt fur Winston, too. Ai seed him on Faysbuk & Mom went 2git him outta CAAWS wher tehy iz berry mice 2 kittehs but Winston wuz not adjustin' well. His furs fambly givved him away, too. Mom wuznt eben going 2wurk tihs summer but had a feelin' Winston wuz s'posedta liv wiht us. Taht iz Ceiiling Cat at wurk.

Long ez Winston knos who iz boss arown heer, he kin stay.

Oh, & Ceiling Cat, Ai hope U furgiv me fur wat Ai wuz finking abot Mom yessirday w'en Ai went out 2 bakyard & she furgots me & went 2 wurk.

~Bob

P.S. Mai friend Rumpy Dog is having Aminul Welfare Blogger Challinj. A had teknikul diffakultees gittin on tehre but keep tryin, ebberbuddy! Heer'steh link:
http://rumpydog.com/2013/01/27/the-animal-welfare-blogger-challenge/

Mewmember:

• tell peepuls 2 fink abopping a older pet liek me--kitteh OR goggie is gud!
• hug ur anipal if u haz 1
• talk 2 Ceiling Cat 2day & ebber day! ~Bob

Baby Kitteh Giffs

Ah cain't baleev Bob lef' his blog open to go owtside wit' Poppa! Ah git to write sum moar!

Ah knos sum  ov yas enfants--yungun's gots new bebe kittehs fo Crispmouse. Ah hopes you keep 'em safe! Ah mades a list pour vous, mes amis!

• It do look so kyoot but if you tink you gotta dress you bebe kitteh in clothes, tek a pichurs den git dem clothes offen dat bebe! Cats kin git in places w'at will git dem trapped & choked in clothes so dont leev dem bebes dressed to kill.
• Pick up dem lektrical cords. Bebe kittehs lieks playin wit strang, ropes & cords so if it got lektristy runnin' troo it, cher, move it, hide it & iff you cain't move it put sum Louisiana hot sauce on it wit' a cotton ball, yeah. Sown crezzy but eben if we cats frum Sud de Louisianne --South Louisiana--cain't tek hot sauce! Affer a while you bebe kitteh be tinkin all lektrical cords tays liek hot sauce a& dey leevs 'em alone.
• Put tin furl--you know --aloomnum foil up on teh kitchen conters--speshly where de stove be. If der sumplays you dont want cats 2 jump up on, put furl on it. We dont liek to walk on it.
• If you drops a pill find it and pick it up. Bebe kittehs liek to fine stuff wat roll 2 play wit & may put in their mouf.
• No table food! Ah kno de TV cartoons say we luvs teh tays ov fish & mice, but we goes crezzy fur yor chikun dinner cookin'! Dont keer how we beg, feed teh food made fur us. No chikun bones needer! Cows milk be med fo bebe cows so unless you wanna see w'at a bebe kitteh wit a bad stommick look liek, dont giv bebe kitteh's milk! Der is speshul food fur teh bebe kittehs wherever catfood is sold.
• Keep teh bebes inside unless you kin go owt wit 'em. Keep away frum fam'ly car! If you try keepin' bebe kitteh where you keep you car, when it's cold teh car engine stays warm for quite a while. Bebe kittehs may crawl up in the tire well or close 2 teh engine and be hurt bad or worser w'en you goes 2 start you car. Bes' is to keep bebe in teh hows wit' teh fam'ly.

Well, mes chers, dat's all Ah kin tink abot to say abot dis. Keep you bebe kittehs safe and teech you chirren to tek gud keer ov dem and you will hav gud pet!
AAAIIIEEE! >^-o-^<

~Winston Henry LaChat Michael!

Um Awarded!

Wall, Ai gots a surprise & Ai am so onnered! Ai got a ward frum Cuddly Friends fur mai blog! Yoo kin see heer at tihs link:
CLICK HERE

Wall, Winston, Whut haz u 2 say abot taht!?

Ez long ez we haz older kittehs gitting 4ever homes---iz ALL gud. Eben fur putting up wiht big hed orange cats!

Fank you, Cuddly Friends!
~Bob

hurry cane eye-sik

Mom sed Grandmom wuz not feeling well so she wud stay wif her for teh hurry cane. Poppa sed he wud keep me & mintully deefishunt Winston at teh hows. Poppa put all teh patio furnichur next 2 teh hows or insides & sum potted plants, too. Petgurl camed ober & she & Mom put sum fings n her car.

Ai dunno from a hurry cane but Ai go owtsides wif Poppa 2 see if Ai kin help him. Winston is still a li'l skerred of Poppa. akshully, he is skerrepd ov almos' ebberfing & ebberbuddee except Mom. He is skerred 2 poop owtsides so he makes reely big ones in teh box & me & Pop cant stand that! Fur a bit he was missing teh box bcoz he is so big, so Mom & Petgurl took him to teh vet. They brot Winston & some special food back.                  

So later Poppa sed Ai better go owtsides while Ai can. He sed Ai better play, poop ir whatevah bcoz it wud not be eezee lata. Ai dint kno wat he wuz talkin' abot but Ai knew Ai dint need 2 b owtsides.

Teh winds blowed hard taht nite & Ai stayed neer Poppa. I hurded some shingles blow off teh roof. Winston ran unner teh kichen table. Lites went off fur a lil wyle. Poppa & Ai cundt wach NCIS or LAw & Orda! But it dint last long & ther wuznt 2 much reel rains. Lites camed bak on, Poppa scooped teh litta box--& gagged 'cos he dont yooshally do it, speshully behind Winston. Then he fed us & all wuz rite wit the wurl. Exsep Mom stayed wit grandma fur a bit longer to help owt ober tehre.

Ez long ez Ai had directv, Poppa's side & sum cat food all wuz rite wif teh wurl, Tehn Mom stayed home & didnt go 2 wurk fur a few days moar! Ai liek Mom staying home. Un4chnutly, so duz Winston who hogs her lap. ennyways, fur taht Ai cud deel wiht Hurry cane Eye-sik.

Lata
~Bob B

Mai Mom iz Bak & Udder Mew Cat Songs

Mai Mom iz Bak

Mai Mom iz bak & she's gonna B in trubble!

Hey nonny nah, mai Mom iz bak!

Win best git bak Ai'm gonna pop him like a bubble,

Hey nonny nah, mai Mom iz bak!

Mom, u kno U shu'n't grieve me.

Mom, u kno u shu'n't lee'mee.

Well, Ai'm a big boy now but Ai lieks 2 B N charge now.

Wah ooooo! Wah ooooo!

And wit' mai PetGurl heer U kno Ai'm livin' large now.

Wah ooooo!

Cant u see?!

Ai'll leev u a poopee w'eneva Ai gits angry.

Hey nonny nah, mai Mom iz bak!

And blok Win's bowl when big boy gits hungry.

Hey nonny nah, mai Mom iz bak!

Hey, Ai'm not interrogatin'

But w'ern teh wurl is Poppa waitin'?

Well, Ai'm a big boy now but Ai dont liek no surprises!

Wah ooooo! Wah oooo!

I'll leev fur on his pillo & thro teh kitteh eyes

Wah oooo!

He wont be mad at me!

Yeah mai Mom is bak! 

Yeah, mai wurl's on trak

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, Mom is heer!

Onlee Poppa haz sum'n 2 feer

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,Mom is bak!

eah, yeah, yeah, yeah,Mom is bak!

Revoluushun

Gonna b a revolooshun of goggies & cats

Whachoo fink abot taht?

Finkin' 'bot a gud salooshun. Oh, boys & gurls

We jus' wanna change teh wurl

To a plays w'er on ebbr corner

Is a gud resposibul pet owner

Ebbry fing is gonna be alright

If ebbry animal kin be alright

Alright! 

Tihs is not a mew ideer, it jus' meks a betta wurl

Havin' pets nootered & spayed, teh boys & teh girls

So owr numbers  dont spiral

N2 a homeless pet exploshun now

And hav us roamin' from home. Anyhow

Ebery fing is gonna be alright

If u do tihs fur U & me

Alright!

Alright!

Mooie Mooie

(Tune of Louie, Louie)

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.

No,no, no, no!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.(ugh!)

No, no, no, no!

Well mai mom tol' me jus' teh udder day

Not 2 hang rown teh ceral bowl & play

'Cuz eben 'tho Ai liek it  & it smell so gud

Milk dont do a cats body enny gud!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.

No,no, no, no!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.(ugh!)

No, no, no, no!

Well Ai di'nt lissen 2 w'at Mmom sed

And Ai decided 2 go ahed

And lap up teh white stuff enny how

U kno w'at Ai meen: the stuff from teh cow

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.

No,no, no, no!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.(ugh!)

No, no, no, no!

Well mai tummy felt so gud fur a little while

And all ov a sudden ebber fing went wild

Mai tummy started moovin on it's own

Frum deep wiffin in Ai herd a reel lowd groan!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.

No,no, no, no!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.(ugh!)

No, no, no, no!

Ai ran 2 teh bak room quik ez a fox

Fownd teh door closed 2 mai litta box

Mai poor ol' tummy was carryin' a load

And just liek St. Helen Ai start 2 Xplode!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.

No,no, no, no!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.(ugh!)

No, no, no, no!

Mom frowed me owtsides fur a week & a day

'Cuz she had cleen up a big mess taht day

So lissen 2 me & heer me now

Cow's milk is made jus' fur baby cows!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.

No,no, no, no!

Ai sed a-mooie mooie! O' baby ur no gud fer me.(ugh!)

No, no, no, no!

Mewmember:

• tell peepuls 2 fink abopping a older pet liek me--kitteh OR goggie is gud! 
•  hug ur anipal if u haz 1
•  talk 2 Ceiling Cat 2day & ebber day! ~Bob

4 OJ

We hadda a mice Forf o Joolye.   4chunittly owr frens Rumpy Dog & June Buggie teh cat posted sum reminers fur pet safety. So we stayed safe--even Poppa.  Poppa dont liek firewurks eder so he satys N fur the 4 OJ & Mew Years. Mom & PetGurl went 2 see a mooovee. We wuz alrite b'cuz ther wuznt a lot of nayberhood firewurks. Jus' a li'l bit fa away. Iz illeegul eny ways, but peepuls who wanna see nice forewurks kin go downtown on the Miss Sippi Levee & see profeshnul show wich iz betta & sayfer.

Me & Poppa had gud tiem waching crime shows. Ai liek crime show wif Poppa. W'en we come owt teh back, Winston come owt but he dont liek crime shows. He sat on Mom's spot on the sofa, keepin' it warm 'til she git bak. Sumtiem he run unner the kichum tabul if me & Poppa come owt the bak 2 fas'. If Poppa hav a stinky stik Ai go owtsides wif him, jus' 2 the catio & my poopy spot N teh bakyard.

W'en Mom git bak, Winston jump on her lap liek she been gone fur days. What a big baby!

Mewmember:

• tell peepuls 2 fink abopping a older pet liek me--kitteh OR goggie is gud! 
•  hug ur anipal if u haz 1
•  talk 2 Ceiling Cat 2day & ebber day! ~Bob

Winston's Ad

Mom calld Companions Animul Alliance & took out ad fur Winston on Craig's list. Now she's mekking signs. Craig's list ad goes like tihs:
http://batonrouge.craigslist.org/laf/3104718892.html

Winston: MIA

Poppa goes owtsides at nite wif his stinky smoke stiks & sumtiems he wakes up N the middle of teh nite. Ai goes owt wif him. Teh udder nite, abot midnite, Winston deesided 2 obercome his feer ov owtsides & go wif us. Yooshally he onlee goes owt wif Mom & he still aks kinda skerry ov Poppa. So when Poppa wuz dun wif the stinky stik he sed, :"Let's go in!" So Ai come in but Winston did not. He onlee comes fur Mom. Poppa couldn't get him so he closed teh door & fot Winston wud come skraching on the catio door lata.

At breffass, Poppa askd Mom if Winston camed 2 teh door & he tole her w'at happund. Mom sed, "WHAT!? U shudda woke me up 2 all him just tehn Bcuz he will come fur me! He's still a little afrayd of you."
Mom called and called. She & Poppa lukd unner teh cars, honked car horns 2 sker him owt. Ai went wif Mom 2 teh owtskirts of teh bakyard 2 look unner teh brambles & bushes bak tehre. Poppa hadda leev yessirday affernoon.

Owr fren Rumpy sugjes Mom leev owt his food & litta box so PetGurl put owt teh food yessirday. Ai hadda eat a bit of it 2 mek sher it tays gud fur him. Tehn Mom put owt teh litta box. Ai'm not tuching taht.

Ai hope he comes home soon. We wuz gittin' 2 be gud bros. He' s kinda shy & skerred ov stuff, so he stays close 2 Mom. Taht part gits on mai nurvs. But he plays a gud game of catnip mows soccer wif me & he knos sum gud jokes. Yah,ww wuz gettin' closer. Mom sez he haz a chip so she or PetGurl will call teh shelter 2day.

Liftin u up 2 Ceiling Cat. Winston, w'ever u R, Bro, come home!

Mista Bob iz Owtside

Hai. Um... Ai'm  a li'l nurvis.. Um. Ai com owt wen Mista Bob iz not rown. He..um kind meks me nurvis b'cuz Ai kin smell wher he hz claimed ebberting arown heer. So Ai'm in his terrytoree..& well...ebberfing meks me nurvis. NooMom sed, wile Mista Bob iz owtside, Ai kin take tihs oppertoonty 2 innerduce misef. Mai name iz Winston Henry. Wall, Ai betta go now. Ai hz jess  few minits to git chin rubs & relax on teh sofer wif NooMom bcuz Mista will B bak soon. KThnxBai.

sined

o9pppppppppppppppp88888 (Winston Henry).

Waytin'

Mai Mom & Poppa R gonna do another Kairos Prizzin Min'stry. Taht meeens they will b gone ebber Caturday fur meetings until on wun ov tohse weekends tehy will be gone fur abot 4 days, sumtiem N June, 2 go visit teh men in prizzin.. Taht's teh way it yooshully goes . Tehy havunt dun wun fur a while but they hav been doing uddder t'ings. Ai fink Ai herd Poppa say tihs will B teh only wun tihs yeer. Mom haz been way too bizzy at work & affer wurk 2 do moar tahn wun eben if tehy had moar tahn wun tihs all she cud do.

Ai hate waiting fur tehm 2 come home but it also meens Ai will see moar of PetGurl! 

Ennyway, Mom sez, udder peepuls cud help. Liek, tihs next Caturday, tehy cud volunteer 2B on the team wit' her & Poppa. Tihs is teh cut-off Caturday fur joining teh teeem. All peepuls haz 2 do is go ober to Furst Mewnited Mefodist Church (930 N. Blvd., Baton Rouge) fur 8:30 in teh moarnin' & fillout a paper & sit down so eberbody kin welcome U & U git sum exer-sizes taht help U wit what 2 do. 

Mom sez, if u can't come 2 teh meetin's u kin still help frum wherever u are liek by helping wit' cookies, prayer and agape taht u kin find at this link: http://kairosangola.net/angola54.htm  U kin mail homebaked cookies & handdrawn place mats 2 "Kairos Angola" at teh address abuv R 2 Kairos Angola where Mom & Poppa worship c/o Mt. Pilgrim MBC, 9700 Scenic Hwy., Baton Rouge, LA 70807.

My favrit R Mom's cartoon videos, but tehre iz anudder video teher w'at shows waht gud mai Mom, Poppa & all tehre frens do fur teh guys in teh prizzin.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mVrFVpUpEA&amp;feature=youtube_gdata

Prowd ov Maisef. Gotta SANG!!

Ov cors Ai am prowd 2B TEH CAT. Cats & sum goggies kin do grate fings eben wit' no fumbs. But 2day Ai am prowd 2B member of ASPCA wit' mai own card N all! Ai reeely got sumpn N teh brokundown mailbox besides a card frum teh vet sayin' "Iz tiem fur BobButtons 2 git hiz cat butt probed!"

 Wif taht sed, Ai gotta sing!

Lubbly Day 

(apolllygees 2 Bill Withers)

W'en mai Poppa, Mom, PetGurl & me

Mek a fam'ly w'at iz whole.

W'en Ai wekkup n the moarnin & 

Tehr iz cat food n mai bowl

Tehn Ai look owtsides

An' teh birds iz chirp-chirping

Skwurls iz runnin' rown

An' Ai kno iz gonna be

A lubbly daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

A lubbly daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

We R Fammerlee

All mai frenz we R talkin' 2gedder when we git online;

Kitteh's, goggies & eben a turtle--we talk all teh tiem!

All teh peepul look @ us & say, "Kin tehy B taht close?

Anipals being 'burds-of-a-fedder?"

W'at we say 2 tohse is:

"We R Fammerlee! Kittehs, goggies, burdees & ME!"

"We R Fammerlee! Kittehs, goggies, burdees & ME!"

W'en we see anipals taht R homeless, we tell ebbrywun.

Sumtiem we just lif' up eech udder & hav sum fun.

All ov teh peepuls look at us & say, "We shud help 'em owt

So no annimals hurt & they git homes!"

Tehn wit' us tehy shout:

"We R Fammerlee! Kittehs, goggies, burdees & ME!"

"We R Fammerlee! Kittehs, goggies, burdees & ME!"

Aint Wurried

[Whistles] Ain't wurried. [Whistles]

Ai'm happy. [Whistles]

Ain't wurried. 

Ai'm happy, meow.

Heer's a li'l song Ai rote

U mite wanna howl it note fur note

Ain't wurried. 

Ai'm happy.

Got a place frum w'er Ai dont roam

Got maisef a 4ever home

Ain't wurried. 

Ai'm happy.

Got me a blanky fur m'naptiem wurl

W'en Ai needs a brush Ai got a good PetGurl

Ain't wurried. 

Ai'm happy.

[Whistles] Ain't wurried. [whisltes]

Ai'm happy. [Whistles]

Ain't wurried. 

Ai'm happy, meow.

(c) Mr. BobButtons. Fank yew. Fank yew berry much.

Toys! W'at's Ur Favrits?

. Mom haz her net book. Poppa haz teh TV. I liek  a gud toy! Ai has lotsa catnip mices & a squeeky fish wit fedders. Mai grammy & Aunt Gayle sented me a 'lectronic mouse. Ai name him Herkalees.

Kin all my anipals & hyoomin pals post tehir favrit toy below? Kyooris cat minds wanna kno. Fanks!

Stubby

Mom has been worried abot mai mew frien w'at comes ober sumtiems. He's ginger cat wit' a white muzzle & chest.  He has seekrit cat name but Mom calls him Stubby K. He is not nootered b'cuz he sprays teh carport & bakyard.  Ai  discubbered him b4 taht B'cuz Ai cud smell him but mai hyoomins cudnt.

W'en Poppa wuz gone & cudnt tek me owtsides, Mom wud let me owts fur mai poop spots & Ai took a few xtra minits 2 look fur him. "Hey! Ai kno ur owt heer sumwheres. Tihs is mai bakyard! Show ur face, dood!" Nuffin.

Wun day when Poppa was in hospital, Ai ax Mom if Ai cud go 2 bakyard  b'cuz Ai cud heer him but Mom cudnt. Hyoomins dont heer & smell ez gud ez us. Tehn Ai see him behine teh big white oak. "Dood! Ai heer u breevin' & Ai smell u. Why u come 2 mai bakyard ebber day?"

Nuffin.

Ai slowly walk ober to see him close. He is bigger tehn me but kinda skerred. His eyes is big & him hav hurst N tehm.

"O, gosh. Sorry. Ai lost frum mai 4eva home & Ai  hav hurts," he say.

"Dood! How U git away frum ur 4eva home? U lef' ur bakyard? Why U do taht?" Ai say.

"Well, Ai smell gurl kittehs far frum mai bakyard, so Ai goes looking fur where teh smell come frum. It wuz liek a speshul smell taht wuz pullin' & pullin' me & b4 Ai know it Ai far frum mai 4eva home. U eva hav taht feelin' & taht pull?"

"No, akshully." Ai say. "U dont know where ur 4eva home iz, tehn taht iz not gud."Ai jus' cant amajin leevin' a 4eva home ober a smell taht dont involve turkeygravy flava. But Mom sez w'en u haz TEH SERJRY teh smell ov gurl kittehs dont pull u.

"Ai wuz on mai way bak & got konfyoosed b'cuz sumfing chase me," He sed. "And tehn tihs happen & Ai so hurt & ...YOOOOOWWWL!"

Ai kin see why he yowl & hav hurt N his eyes! Iz most horrible fing!  His tail stop in the middle 7 tehre iz blood dried on the fur w'ere yoosta b a tail.

"O! Poor fing! Come wit' me. Mebbe mai Mom kin help u." Ai tern 2 walk 2 the hows fur him 2 follow. Mom comes owt 2 teh catio 2 call me insides.
"Come, on!" Ai say. "Teh're Mom now." But he is gone & Ai not git his name. So Ai go insides wit' Mom, hoping he will come bak so he kin git help.

Later Mom heer's a yowl owtsides & finking she left me on teh catio & fell alseep b'cuz Poppa's not home yet & needer 1 of us iz sleeping on owr ushual skedyul. Ai run 2 teh door wit' her. "Well, Bobbo, if U r N heer wif me then who iz taht yowling owtside?"

"Come on Mom! There's hurt kitteh owt heer! Ai seen him urlier! He needs owr help!" Ai say & Ai run owt. But he is gone & Mom dont unnerstan. She finks Ai jus' need 2 go 2 poo spot in teh bakyard, tells me 2 hurry up so we kin go bak 2 bed. Ai know him iz behine the big white oak w'er Mom can't see from teh catio. Ai tell him iz OK 2 folla me but he runned away agin.

Later Ai tell him all abot me, Mom, Poppa & PetGurl.  He wached owr hows & wait fur me 2 come owtsides. He see Poppa come home & Poppa see me talkin' 2 him from udder side ov bakyard b'cuz he too skerred 2 let Poppa git too close. Later he see Mom, too. He say he kno  when Mom's car come iz not long she lemme go owt bak ov teh catio. So Mom see him run across bakyard from carport almo's ebberday & she smell his spray owt teher.

He say he fink abot follering me insides nex' time b'cuz mai fambly seem liek berry mice peepuls & his half tail hurts. Him yowl so loud Mom heers him all teh tiem now. So Ao goes owt & he is neer mai poop spot. Ai tells him 2 folla me w'en Mom sez "Buttonsbuttonsbuttons!" And he duz! Ai go rite 2 mai noms bowl fur sharing wit him but w'en Ai tern arown, him not tehr! Him chikkund owt! Mom musta knowed he wuz still tehr b'cuz she put sum ov mai dry food on teh catio.

Later, Ai find owt from him taht he got so slkerred. But he camed to teh catio door 2 call fur me. Mom leevs the blinds up jus a li'l so he looked N 2 see if he cud see me..and he sawed Mom lookingbak at him! He stared at her but he cunt move, he wuz so skerred. Tehn she took a step towards teh door & he took off 2 teh bak fence & owt ov teh yard. He tol' me to tell Mom fanks fur teh food.

Mai Mom is skerred fur him. She say she see his hurt tail & want him 2 git helped. Ai herd Mom say 2 PetGurl, "Maybe we should call animal control."

"No!" sed PetGurl. "Remember what hapened 2 LeeLee & Gracie, tehr."

"They're supposed to be a no-kill shelter now. I'm thinking maybe they will take care of his tail stump & keep him until he's adopted. he cant roam teh nayberhood liek that. Poor thing's in pain."

"No!" Sed PetGurl. "Tohse r teh same peepuls taht sed tehy'd keep LeeLee  Gracie fur 3 days & tehy dint. Ai dont want 2 take taht chance wit' Stubby."

"Perhaps ur rite," sed Mom. "Maybe we kin call the Northside taht haz anipals fur adopshun at teh wh'er Bob's vet iz. Ai see if Ai kin giv tehm a call. Meenwhile, Ai'll kee putting handfuls of dry food owtside fur him so he will kee coming & start trusting us a little bit."

Ai dont know abot w'at a Northside is but Ai hope tehy kin help Stubby wit' his tail & a mew 4eva home.


Mewmember:

• tell peepuls 2 fink abopping a older pet liek me--kitteh OR goggie is gud! 
•  hug ur anipal if u haz 1
•  talk 2 Ceiling Cat 2day & ebber day! ~Bob

Ai had Anudder Fren Innervyoo Me

Heer's wher 2 find mai inner view wif anudder fren wif a gud name: Cuddly Friends.
http://thecuddlyfriends.blogspot.com/2012/02/celebrity-guest-mr-bob-buttons-story.html

Cat Laws: Teh Nex' Sevvun

8. If Ai'm sittin' at teh door lookin' at it, open ur brane 2 mai mentul tullepthy messich taht is saying, "AI WANTS OWT!"

9. Nebber moovs teh noms dish wiffowt permisshin.

10. If unknown kids iz comin' ober, pleez do liek teh moovees & Warn-a-Bruvver. [Get it? Warn..a Warner...ahem. Mooving rite along..]

11. If Ai gits wet from sumting Ai playing, drinking--wha-evah--is OK. If U gits water on me iz NOT OK. OK?

12. Ai ownlee runs 2 door w'en Ai heers YORE car in teh driveway.

13. Meeet gud. Veggies bad. Cats & men hav dis n common.

14. Cold bad. Warms gud. Xpek me 2 go 2 grate lenfs 2 git away frum cold & git 2 warms. Why? Iz CAT LAW!

Mewmember:

• tell peepuls 2 fink abopping a older pet liek me--kitteh OR goggie is gud! 
•  hug ur anipal if u haz 1
•  talk 2 Ceiling Cat 2day & ebber day! ~Bob