Thursday, January 24, 2013

Bizzy Mom

Ai hate it w'en Mom gits too bizzy. She iz bizzy wiht papers. Ai sits on her papers so she stop scribbling tehm at home. She iz bizzy fur Church Nanny Versy, whoever taht iz. Poppa wuz bizzy wiht Sir Man, but Ai cud sit nex' 2 him & help him owt bai letting him rub mai hed. Ai dont kno who SirMan iz but eber once in a wile he givs Poppa fits then he chills owt & sez "God's got it." Tihs tiem SirMan let Poppa relax frum teh start.
But all tihs bizzy stuff meens mai peepuls iz not home. Tehy hav been spending Caturdays at Kairos insted of wiht me & Win. Do u kno what taht duz fur a cat's stummick clock?!!!! Five in teh moarnin' iz breffass tiem! Five in teh ebening iz DINNA TIEM! Tehse peepuls iz disobeying CAT LAW arown heer!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Baby Kitteh Giffs

Ah cain't baleev Bob lef' his blog open to go owtside wit' Poppa! Ah git to write sum moar!

Ah knos sum  ov yas enfants--yungun's gots new bebe kittehs fo Crispmouse. Ah hopes you keep 'em safe! Ah mades a list pour vous, mes amis!

  • It do look so kyoot but if you tink you gotta dress you bebe kitteh in clothes, tek a pichurs den git dem clothes offen dat bebe! Cats kin git in places w'at will git dem trapped & choked in clothes so dont leev dem bebes dressed to kill.
  • Pick up dem lektrical cords. Bebe kittehs lieks playin wit strang, ropes & cords so if it got lektristy runnin' troo it, cher, move it, hide it & iff you cain't move it put sum Louisiana hot sauce on it wit' a cotton ball, yeah. Sown crezzy but eben if we cats frum Sud de Louisianne --South Louisiana--cain't tek hot sauce! Affer a while you bebe kitteh be tinkin all lektrical cords tays liek hot sauce a& dey leevs 'em alone.
  • Put tin furl--you know --aloomnum foil up on teh kitchen conters--speshly where de stove be. If der sumplays you dont want cats 2 jump up on, put furl on it. We dont liek to walk on it.
  • If you drops a pill find it and pick it up. Bebe kittehs liek to fine stuff wat roll 2 play wit & may put in their mouf.
  • No table food! Ah kno de TV cartoons say we luvs teh tays ov fish & mice, but we goes crezzy fur yor chikun dinner cookin'! Dont keer how we beg, feed teh food made fur us. No chikun bones needer! Cows milk be med fo bebe cows so unless you wanna see w'at a bebe kitteh wit a bad stommick look liek, dont giv bebe kitteh's milk! Der is speshul food fur teh bebe kittehs wherever catfood is sold.
  • Keep teh bebes inside unless you kin go owt wit 'em. Keep away frum fam'ly car! If you try keepin' bebe kitteh where you keep you car, when it's cold teh car engine stays warm for quite a while. Bebe kittehs may crawl up in the tire well or close 2 teh engine and be hurt bad or worser w'en you goes 2 start you car. Bes' is to keep bebe in teh hows wit' teh fam'ly.
Well, mes chers, dat's all Ah kin tink abot to say abot dis. Keep you bebe kittehs safe and teech you chirren to tek gud keer ov dem and you will hav gud pet!
AAAIIIEEE! >^-o-^<

~Winston Henry LaChat Michael!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Bonne année (Happy Mew Yeer) from WHM

Mes Amis! Mah Frans! Ah wanna sez Bonne année--Happy Mew Yers 2 yahs all! Ah be so glad 2 see dis heer yer B'cuz Ah wuznt fasho Ah wud! Mahyoosta B fambly dropp me off in da strange place
whut Ah dont kno whut goin' on or pourquoi why dey wanna givved me up. Mais Mom, she comed to git me bak in summer time & Ah been Monsieur BobButton brofur evva since! AAAAIIIIIEEEE!!!!

Nah, Ah gots ta ansa sum quirschins peepul ax liek why mah name so Anglish but mah talk so Franch. Well, mah name Ah say 'Wan-STOHN ohnREE' Ah livs in Cajun country. So is not quite Franch AH talk an' not quite Anglish but sump'n inbetween dat's only in de sud de louisiane--South Louisiana.

Nex' quirshun iz abot how me n Monsieur Bob git along. Well, nah, he OK by me & dont hiss too much no mo' BUT as Ah has become comfurbul rown dis hows Ah lieks  mah toys! M. Bob don't unnerstan' dat so he will slap me and say "Stop taht u idiot!" Sumitem Ah do git carried away playin' doe. M. Bob doan liek me eatin' none o' his lef'ova food neetha! Ah yoosta push him owt da wey & eat his ffod when Ah finish mahn but Mom & Pop tole me not 2 do dat. Mos'ly we git on. He stik wit Poppa & tehy wach TV togedda. Ah lieks 2 sit on Mom.

Las' quirschin is abot me gittin' mah own blog. No. Ah gotta Twitta & dat's enuff. As long as Bob has a blog Ah kin hijack, dis will be bien fa me! Besides, Ah haz to a'mit, Ah kinda liek de wey steem come outta his ears wheneva he find owt Ah ben on his blog!

Well, chers, bye fa now! A tout a l'heure--layta!
~Winston Henry

Catty Mew Yeer

 Mom sez  it's a mew yeer. Ai shud say sumting. Well, Ai'm TEH CAT so Ai hav a list ov catty fings fur the Mew Yeer.

  • Ai fink Winston iz a berry mice cat... if u liek berry big hed not so smart cats. Ai will treet him akkordinly...liek akkordin 2 his nomtelligents. Ai promus 2 slap him ebber now & tehn.Winston looks liek
  • Ai will wach moar NCIS & LawnOrder wiht Poppa. Taht's teh paw Ai fans wiht. Mom's shows iz not ez gud.
  • Wehn Ai haz 2 frow up, A will kerfully aim at the rug...or teh spred if Ai'm on the bed & cant git down fass.
  • Ai will try 2 git yoosed 2 teh big laptop eben tho Ai still miss Baby laptop. She wus so warm. Gud fur writing blog & fur warmz on mai paws.
  • Ai will post moar abot lost kittehs & goggies and fur tohs wat need 4ever homes.
  • Ai will try not 2 kik litter owt ov teh litter box. But since Ai dont haz 2 cleeen it up, Ai cant promus all the tiem.
  • Ai will try 2 visit mai frens blogs moar. Git so bizzy in cat bizzness & sad abot wayting fur Mom 2 come home taht Ai slakked off reeding tehm.
  • Ai will git bak 2 tweeting moar. Same reesin ez abuv
  • Ai will still be catty becuz--u got it!-- AI AM TEH CAT!

PS--Happee Mew Yeer ebberbuddee!