Me


Showing posts with label cat manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cat manners. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Catty Mew Yeer


 Mom sez  it's a mew yeer. Ai shud say sumting. Well, Ai'm TEH CAT so Ai hav a list ov catty fings fur the Mew Yeer.

  • Ai fink Winston iz a berry mice cat... if u liek berry big hed not so smart cats. Ai will treet him akkordinly...liek akkordin 2 his nomtelligents. Ai promus 2 slap him ebber now & tehn.Winston looks liek
  • Ai will wach moar NCIS & LawnOrder wiht Poppa. Taht's teh paw Ai fans wiht. Mom's shows iz not ez gud.
  • Wehn Ai haz 2 frow up, A will kerfully aim at the rug...or teh spred if Ai'm on the bed & cant git down fass.
  • Ai will try 2 git yoosed 2 teh big laptop eben tho Ai still miss Baby laptop. She wus so warm. Gud fur writing blog & fur warmz on mai paws.
  • Ai will post moar abot lost kittehs & goggies and fur tohs wat need 4ever homes.
  • Ai will try not 2 kik litter owt ov teh litter box. But since Ai dont haz 2 cleeen it up, Ai cant promus all the tiem.
  • Ai will try 2 visit mai frens blogs moar. Git so bizzy in cat bizzness & sad abot wayting fur Mom 2 come home taht Ai slakked off reeding tehm.
  • Ai will git bak 2 tweeting moar. Same reesin ez abuv
  • Ai will still be catty becuz--u got it!-- AI AM TEH CAT!
~Bob

PS--Happee Mew Yeer ebberbuddee!



Friday, February 24, 2012

Cat Laws: Teh Nex' Sevvun


8. If Ai'm sittin' at teh door lookin' at it, open ur brane 2 mai mentul tullepthy messich taht is saying, "AI WANTS OWT!"

9. Nebber moovs teh noms dish wiffowt permisshin.

10. If unknown kids iz comin' ober, pleez do liek teh moovees & Warn-a-Bruvver. [Get it? Warn..a Warner...ahem. Mooving rite along..]

11. If Ai gits wet from sumting Ai playing, drinking--wha-evah--is OK. If U gits water on me iz NOT OK. OK?

12. Ai ownlee runs 2 door w'en Ai heers YORE car in teh driveway.

13. Meeet gud. Veggies bad. Cats & men hav dis n common.

14. Cold bad. Warms gud. Xpek me 2 go 2 grate lenfs 2 git away frum cold & git 2 warms. Why? Iz CAT LAW!




Mewmember:
  • tell peepuls 2 fink abopping a older pet liek me--kitteh OR goggie is gud! 
  •  hug ur anipal if u haz 1
  •  talk 2 Ceiling Cat 2day & ebber day~Bob

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Bob's New Year's Eve

Dear Friends,

This is Bob's mom writing to you today in his stead.

First, I'd like to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR and may the years ahead be blessed. That is the only time one adds an "S" to "year"  unless it is to add an apostrophe and an "S"  when one uses the possessive form as in "New Year's Day" or "New Year's Eve."  But, as the poster child for ADD, I digress in discussion of one of my pet peeves as digression and ADD are conjoined siblings.

Bob is recovering from a hard night. He gave us quite a scare, although our family tries to stay prayed up. My husband, whom Bob has referred to as "Poppa" and I were trying to be careful about his going outdoors on New Year's Eve. As Bob has stated before, he likes to go outside with Poppa.  Poppa also has the habit of standing with the family room door open so that he can watch the TV while he smokes outdoors and Bob plays in the grass or watches the water in a little fountain pond I made just off the patio. Bob comes in when Poppa comes in or he stays behind where either of us can see him from the inside for a few minutes until I call him in.

 Poppa and I agreed that when dark came, it would be best if Bob did not venture outdoors. Although fireworks are illegal in this parish, too often people who want to use them will buy theirs in neighboring parishes and bring them home to set them off. This is not a good situation for either Poppa or Bob. Poppa's a Vietnam vet and Bob is..a Bob. The noises have the same effect.

Poppa was getting in one last smoke for the evening before we were to go to church for watch night service. (I'm praying for him to stop smoking altogether) and must have been very engrossed as Bob slipped outside behind him in the darkness. I heard Poppa say, "Come on, Bob. It's time to go in." Then I noticed he walked through to the front of the house and called for Bob.

"He only comes in for you," Poppa called. So I went out into the backyard to do my special Bob call, which usually works if he's outdoors. If Bob is indoors he let's you know by doing absolutely nothing--except maybe continuing to nap in one of his favorite places. No Bob.

"Are you sure he's outside?" I asked Poppa. "The ground is wet. Maybe he slipped back inside and is napping somewhere."

"I didn't see him go in but check the usual places anyway," Poppa said while he continued to look and call outside. No Bob inside. No Bob outside. "If he's not answering you, perhaps he sneaked inside and has a new napping spot. We'd better get going for church."

We left my car in the drive and went to watch night service in my husband's car. On the way home we could see Roman candles cascading out of the dark sky and hear fireworks booming throughout the city. As my husband pulled into the drive I could see a super-size ball of fur curled up in the carport between my car  and the kitchen door. Bob was home and he was freaked out. If he'd had opposeable thumbs he would have taken the keys from my hands and open the door for himself. He dashed inside and ran to one of his favorite napping places in my daughter's (Pet Gurl) room. He realized he' not checked his bowl for a snack, came back to the kitchen to make sure a snack didn't magically appear in his bowl, then went back to the darkness of Pet Gurl's room for peace and quiet.

So that is how Bob's New Year's Eve went and why he's  will, from now on, mind when we call him from the outdoors.