Cat Spit Misseries--Epuhsode 1, Part Free

Chapper 6: Sumfin Skwurly

Hansum, wunnerful, debbinair, jeenyus, jenrus cat-abot-town, Mr. Bob Buttons wuz in kwandry abot whut wuz happnin' fur 2 git spit on his cat toys wat wuz not his spit. Big Urnge, teh cat w'at wuz brot 2 his kingdom, hepped him innerview Stubby Kay teh Skray, a cat wiht haff a tail. Big Urnge wuz tryin' 2 hide Bob's toys frum teh Evul Skwurl Brudders hoo had sumhow got inside teh manchin & tooked Bob's cat toys. Tihs is wher teh story lef' off. Now u iz cot up on preevus chappers. Reed on. 

 

"Big Urnge, we will git hyommin staff 2 open doors so we kin kech tehm Evul Skwurl Brudders urly n teh moarnin; fur interrogayshin!" Mr. Bob promeownsd.

Nex moarnin Bob saw teh Evul Skwurl Brudders unner teh oak tree n teh bakyard ov hiz kingdom. Wun ov tehm wuz nex 2 teh bush eatin' Bob's acorns wile teh udder wun wuz keepin lookowt on teh trunk ov teh tree.

Mr. Bob mooved N closer. "CHEE!! CHEE!!CAT! CAT!" skreeched teh swurl on teh tree.

"Look, Evul Skwurls," sed Mr. Bob. "Ai duznt wanna chase u 2day. Ai jus' want mai toys bak."

"Wha'?" sed teh evul skwurl unner teh bush. He had mooved closer 2 teh tree.

 

 

"Cat is tryin' to trik us cuz he knos he cant kech us!" sed teh skwurl on teh tree. "Come, come come come, Brudder! Less go!"

"Up the tree! Up teh tree! Wher teh cat cant folla me! Silly cat! Has no claws!" an' he run up teh tree wiht his evul brudder. Frum bottom branch tehy tawnted Mr. Bob. "No claws! No claws! CHEE CHEE!"
"LOKK YOU IJITS! AI JUS' WANT MAI TOYS BAK WIHTTOWT YER SPIT ON TEHM!" Bob skreemd.
"Silly clawless cat!" sed wun ov teh brudders. "U kno skwurls dont play wiht cats' toys!"
"Yah!" giggled teh udder brudder."U is tryin' 2 trik us 2 come down tehr so u kin kech us! Ha! We's 2 smart fur U!"
Tehm Evul Skwurl Brudders run off fru teh trees doin' skwurl giggles n sech ez teh crossed ober 2 teh nex yard and teh wun affer taht, and on till Bob cud not see tehm no moar.

Mr. BobButtons sighed. "Tehm evul guys iz kumpleet ijits. W'at do u--"
Bob stopped mid-sentuns as he ternd arown fur Big Urnge...

Chapper 7: Big Urnge, MIA

Bob ternd arown & fownded taht Big Urnge wuz not behine him ez planned. He called fur staff 2 let him bak inside manchin.
Mr. Bob calld fur Big Urnge.
"Ai am up heer," him sed from bak ov sofa.
Bob hop up  on sofa to look at Big Urnge face-to-face. "U wuz s'posed to be rite behime me wile Ai kweschin Evul Skwurl Brudders! Wha'happin?"

"Oh..um, Ai git tired an need nap," sed Big Urnge. Him lik inside ov paw. Bob notice him wuz breeving hard.

"Why R U breeving so hard? Did U run all teh way bak 2 manchin from bein skerrd ov Evul Skwurls?" Bob axed, wiht his hed ternd sidways. Him wuz finking, Stoopid Big Urnge skerrdy cat!

"Um, yah, taht's it," purred Big Urnge. It wuz a sleepy purr. Tehn him restd his big urnge hed on his front paws an cloze his eyes. "If u dont mind, Ai am reddy fur moarnin nap."
Big Urnge skreched and yawned.

"But what abot mai toys! Ai mus' fine tehm!" Sed Mr. Bob. "Mai invessigayshin iz not dun!"

"Oh, fa sho M'sieur Bob" yawnd Big Urnge. "U iz so smaht. U iz bestes invesstigater. If ennybuddy kin fine tehm u will. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"Hmmmmm," Fot Mr. Bob. "He iz rite wiht his big silly urnge self. Ai am Mr. Bob Buttons, masser ov mai domane!"

Tehn Mr. Bob heerd a sown ov Greenie treets bein'sprinkleded in hiz food bowl bai staff.

"TREETZ!!!" him showt. Him run 2 kichun fur noms.

TEH END